Eating Out and Eating Slowly

Eating slowly is the single hardest thing about this entire journey for me.  I am normally a very fast eater.  I talk fast and I eat fast.  I married a fast eater too!  Getting myself to slow down, which is now an absolute necessity, has been very very difficult.

First, I basically feel like I can't ever eat with anyone.  I am very self-conscious about eating so slowly and then it also feels strange to talk when others are eating and you're not.  To say nothing of the fact that life with a toddler doesn't exactly lend itself to leisurely meals....

Second, and I realize contradictory, is that I feel like I can't eat alone either.  That's even more awkward.  All heyyyy there, self,  just waiting to take my next bite...

Nutritionists will tell you that it's not a good idea to eat when you're doing other things (reading, watching TV) because you'll eat more due to the distraction.  I disagree.  I am eating lunch right now but, since I'm also blogging, it doesn't at all feel strange to let my plate sit for even a few minutes between bites.  In fact, I eat the slowest if I'm also engaged in another solo activity (reading a magazine, playing on the computer, etc).  Unfortunately, that's not always an option. The problem is when I do eat too fast I feel incredibly sick and uncomfortable. Thankfully I have yet to puke from it!  I also feel like I am not able to eat *as much* as I might if I ate slower b/c it feels like the food is getting stuck or backed up or something.  Of course, the opposite may also be true (that eating slower allows you time to get that "I'm satisfied" feeling....before it's too late).

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Now, eating out.  Eating out is something that makes me feel normal.  I think eating was (is?) also one of my food addiction, habits, triggers that I'm working on changing.  But, the truth remains that getting out and having a meal is normal for me and I don't always like eating by myself in my house in front of my computer.  That is not "me".

The issue is that eating out is hard.  First, you have to find something you can eat.  Second you have to deal with the totally wrong portion for you (and the inevitable waste...).  Third, you encounter the trouble eating slowly again (and are you alone, or with people, etc etc).

This morning I really wanted to eat out.  I took myself out for breakfast to a diner where I knew I could easily get something for me that was on plan.  My eggs arrived and I immediately cut the portion in half and pushed it to the side knowing it didn't even stand a chance of getting eaten.  Funny thing is that used to be the hard part but, with the sleeve, it's actually easy because you just KNOW it ain't gonna fit.  The hard part now is not shoving the remaining portion into your face all at once while it's all piping hot and delicious.  Not only that but I was alone (no talking) and had no distractions.  Just me, and my plate.  I ate too fast guys.  I ate waaaay too fast.  I was even TRYING to be low! Not only that, but it was so awkward.  One waiter came over and asked if I was done TWICE simply because I was looking around and my utensil was down.  Um, no, not done dude.  Then when I was done and asked them to wrap it up he asked if I didn't like it because I ate so little.  I guess they assume fat chicks can finish a plate of eggs without issue.

I tried the app on my phone and it's OK but feels so forced.  I mean, I'm someone that feels like I sound ridiculous if I am asked to speak in public because I have to force my speech to slow down so much that, to me, I sound like I'm going painfully slow.  Same thing with eating. Anyone have any good eating slowly tips?