Approved!

Woah Nelly.  I just found out (by calling insurance again, thanks for nothing surgeon's office...) that my surgery is officially approved!  Given the week I've been having I was sure I'd pissed off a karma God somewhere so this comes as a welcome relief.

Though....it's making it all really, really real.  It's been very abstract until now.  I feel like I am not prepared but can you be fully ready?  I mean it's like having a kid you "know" what to expect from such a life changing event but you don't know know until you're walking around like a zombie at 3AM covered in spit-up.  It might be at that same time that you think "OMG, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?!"  But, life with baby becomes your new normal and you just soldier on.  Eventually that baby is a toddler and things get easier and easier.

So...back to having 80% of my stomach removed.  It will alter my body physically forever.  I know this.  I know it means I'll *have* to eat a certain way.  Forever.  I know I will at some point wonder if I made a huge mistake.  However, I also know that if do what I am supposed to and let the sleeve help me I WILL lose weight and be healthier.  I will. I just will.  In a few weeks I'll be dropping weight.

How much and to what degree I get off certain meds we don't know yet.  But, it's a first step in the right direction. I know the end game is going to be good, I know the getting there will be hard.  But, I don't think I'll know know until I'm in the thick of it.  And, I think that's OK.

12 days kids. TWELVE.  Breathe.  Breathe.