Is this thing still on.....

A month hiatus. Wow, didn't realize it had been that long.   When I left you last I was really back on point and I was about to go on vacation to Florida.   Well, I had a very stressful vacation (and truly I just didn't want to be good either...) and I ate my face of and kiiiinda never stopped.  Bad Megan.  Bad, bad Megan.  The great news is my weight is stable.   Up/down 1 lb over and over so basically holding right at 140 lost (weight of 195lbs).  I am THRILLED by this.  This has happened in the past (after Hawaii I wasn't great and kinda chilled at 205 FOREVER until I got serious again and more came off and now I'm hanging out here).  I feel like if I really buckle down I can lose more and I'm trying to get that motivation.  But, with my weight stable, the foot of snow on the ground and freezing temps and general winter blah I am just not feeling it.  I know, excuses.  They are just excuses. I own that.

I really hoped to have some more movement before my one year surgiversary but I just can't find that well inside me.  Tomorrow is Feb 11, my one year is March 11.  What do you think I can reasonably do in 30 days?  10 lbs?  I want a goal, I NEED A GOAL.

In other news, been doing a lot of looking back.  This is me a year ago this week.  This is probably about as good as it got then b/c I can tell I just had my hair done.

This is me today.  

It's good I think for me to look back and remember that girl.  She was the same person, just as warm and funny (self high-five) but she was very sad.  She wasn't living life at all.  I never ever want to go back there. 

Two weeks ago I went to an indoor playground with J and friends.  It was scary (as a Momma) and amazing (for the kiddo).  There were slides and tubes and ropes stretching up to the ceiling.  At one point J wanted her Momma to go in with her and.....without a moment's hesitation (well, maybe a second or two...) I headed in.  IT WAS FUN.  I never would have been able to do that a year ago.  NEVER.