My Wedding Dress

Oh my wedding dress, how I loved you so.  I was one of those girls who long planned their wedding in their heads.  I loved planning my actual wedding, I met great friends while doing so (shout out, Junies) and all-in-all my wedding was a fantastic party that I look back on fondly.

Wedding dress shopping, however, didn't really live up to what I hoped it would be.  I was too large for bridal plus size samples and mostly my sister had to try dresses on for me so I could see what they looked like.  My dress was a gift from my Mom and I ended up having it custom made Birnbaum&Bullock dress.  We took elements of existing dresses  and designed a one of a kind gown.  The entire process was amazing and I'm so so grateful for their tact and skill and my Mom's generosity.  I have never felt more beautiful in my entire life as I did in that gown on June 7, 2008.

Me on the big day!!

I weighed about 265 give or take on my wedding day.  Not great, but also not anywhere near my highest.  As the weight piled on I made fitting into my gown again someday a goal.  In June of this year, about 60 lbs down and right around my wedding weight, I pulled my dress out of storage and tried it on.  It didn't zip up all the way but more or less it was on. I was ecstatic.  Even my little one wanted to take me for a whirl on the dance floor.

Doing the cha-cha with the prettiest girl in the room, also wearing her fanciest gown

Today I was cleaning out more clothes that are too big and I saw my wedding dress box sitting there and decided that three months and 40 more pounds lost I wanted to give it another try. You guys?  My dress is way way too big!!  Like wouldn't-stay-on-if-I-wanted-to-wear-it-for-real kind of too big.  Behold:

So then for fun I cinched it in in the back in big fistfulls (kind of like they do in bridal stores, minus the big clips to hold it!) to get an idea of what it might look like if it fit today and WOAH!

Now, I truly believe one shouldn't have, and won't be successful with, Bariatric Surgery until they are totally ready.  You have to be there, you know?  You have to just give over to it, and work and believe and commit.  I wasn't there in 2008 but you know what - I so so wish for vanity's sake that I'd done this surgery way back then!

That leads me to a fat girl confession.  I want to go wedding dress shopping again.  Like acutally go and make up a wedding or vow renewal and try on all sorts of dresses.  All shapes and sizes and just soak it in because even though I'm an old married lady, I never got that chance.